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Jade Goody is an icon
It seems cruel for an intelligent person to pick on the likes of Jade Goody. No, wait! It seems cruel for someone who can tie their own shoelaces to pick on Jade Goody. No, wait! It seems cruel for a monkey that can serve tea to pick on Jade Goody.
Good. That’s better.
Obviously, I am nobody to talk but I will. After all, Jade Goody is probably fairly wealthy at this stage and she’s on telly and according to “teh kidz!”, these are the two most admirable qualities in human beings today.
However, new depths have been registered with the property board, fenced in, excavated and trawled on this years Celebrity Big Brother. The JustRamIt forum, naturally, is littered with idiot quotes from her repertoire – she is beginning to outdo even the mighty “Dubya”, in the ‘Excuse me, she said what?’ stakes but my personal favourite so far, the one that tore me in two with contempt and voyeuristic wonder and caused my finger to twitch in agony on the remote control as I simply couldn’t decide whether I should spare myself anymore of this brain rot, or sheer joy and gasping disbelief at the unfettered stupidity of not just the intellectual indigence of Jade Goody but also the legions of fans screaming outside the building as well as those who regularly tune into her TV programmes for which she has been awarded this place on prime time, nay, all the time television that is big brother, goes a little something like this…
Big Brother, gave all the contestants the opportunity to ask one question to which they have always craved the answer. Much debate ensued; what should they ask? What were the criteria? Could they ask questions about the outside world? (It turned out not).
I have to add at this point, that I do not watch these shows but occasionally, during the end-of-the-evening torpor just prior to sleep, the lightning quick evasive responses of my remote control finger to guff on the telly box slow a little and glimpses are caught. In recent weeks, for example, I have seen a babealicious Bollywood bird cover her beard in some kind of hair removal cream. That was weird. I believe the same Bollywood beardy weirdy has been victimised by racists in the house talking about curry.
I have seen a one-armed woman who looks like she has had a good portion of her body replaced with giant doll parts verbally assault at random, any passer-by who moves into her spit radius. I gather she’s gone now?
I have seen a badly-aging gay dancer weeping, then insist he is not getting involved, repeatedly. I haven’t figured out why he doesn’t just sit down and shut up.
I have seen a chocolate man in sunglasses with a broken off ‘Flake’ that looks a little bit like when Hellboy grinds down his horns.
I have seen “Face” in a black cotton tracksuit and Wellington boots. I have filed that under ‘Moments that removed the fondness from my childhood memories’.
I didn’t see any of the others questions but I did catch Jade Goody’s.
Her preamble went similar to this, “It’s so hard cos every time I think of one question, I keep thinking of other ones around it”.
At least she’s thinking.
This bodes well.
“So here goes anyways”, she decides.
“Why is it Eskimos hasn’t turned into icy creams?”
I thought, “She’s joking”.
But then she kept talking,
“How come their lips and their tears don’t freeze?”
“How comes if they live in ice houses?”
It just went on…
Aghast, I picked my jaw up off the floor and moved down the spectrum but she was on another channel and another…
The next morning the news channel was talking about racism in the BB house. A terribly clever fifteen-year-old girl with a web cam was talking to the reporter. She advised him it’s a shame because some people look up to Jade Goody.
The reporter joined me in my aghast-ness and I am ashamed to say I have something in common with any employee of SKY news but I do. I am aghast at this notion. I am aghast at the mindboggling ignorance of Jade Goody. I am aghast at the notion anyone would look up to her.
To be fair, its not news that there are stupid people.
To be fair, its not news that I, and my semi-educated, comparatively articulate ilk, laugh, mock and sneer at the exceptionally dim-witted, especially when they parade themselves on telly and I can not accept the excuse that poor little Jade Goody admits she is not very clever.
Why then, pray do tell, does she insist on sharing her opinion with other people?
Why do I?
Is this opinion?
I think not.
What have I said that is not cold hard fact?
Jade Goody is stupid.
Jade Goody is on television.
Millions of people watch her.
Either they are all voyeurs or thick as pig shit.
They are all either sharing their useless opinions right now with someone even stupider than them or someone clutching a razor blade.
I say do it.
Slash, slash, slippety slash – get it over with.
Jade Goody is an icon.
What further proof do you need that we are fucked as a species?
I repeat, its not news that there are stupid people.
It is not news that there are ignorant racists.
I repeat, Jade Goody is an icon.
Jade Goody, the icon, is a stupid ignorant racist.
Jade Goody, the stupid ignorant racist, is an icon.
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