Quick Links: Rant in Our Forums -
So, we have launched a number of competitions in our short time here and as yet have received few outstanding contributions.
Sat, criminally neglected, in the Forum which no one ever uses (witless proles), is a perfectly good opportunity for any stray maniac to take a bit of blunt piping to Simon Cowell.
I can only assume by the total lack of response that visitors to the site are all big fans of the Rug wearing shitbag and he has the kind of public warmth and respect generally reserved for German Old age pensioners with Gambling problems , alcoholism , terrible teeth and a propensity to fall down stairs or choke on fish bones if left unattended for 30 seconds.
Or the Queen Mother , may she rest in piece , gawd bless her broken hips.
So to take the strain away from you lot as it is clear you have singularly failed to rise to the challenge let us turn our gimlet stare to another fucker.
LETS ALL KICK DEAN GAFFNEY
ahhh , the loathsome reptilian acne scarred twatbag that was the detestable Robbie Jackson.
first things first Dean , can't act , won't act.
You were the Village Idiot of Albert Square which takes some doing in that place .
The ability to display the emotional range of a mop and the comic timing of a inexpertly fired scud missile is a cast iron guarantee you won't get any more work.
Good , not for you the soap retirement homes of the Bill or Holby City.
The dole , signing on with all the other scum.
housing benefit and Job Club await.
serves you fucking right.
The amazing thing with Dean Gaffney is he is a member of the elite club along with Dean Holdsworth and Dane Bowers and probably some other wankers whose name begins with D.
members are easily identifiable as they all have greasy hair , bad taste in clothes and poor skin.
Their natural Habitat is smarming around Stringfellows or China Whites Groping Page Three Models.
Which , before the carping starts , is not a lifestyle to envy , it's pathetic, fiddling with glamour girls as Rome burns.
And another thing - 'China Whites' - oh how amusing , how risqué because it's Cocaine isn't it , fuck right off , Cocaine is not the Champagne Cocktail drug of the glitterati anymore.
Everyone is taking it , from Record Producers to Dole Scum so get over yourself Jackass.
A powerful Mood Enhancer that enables yet more fuckers to talk more shit mainly about how wonderful they are.
Well my Night Club is going to be Called 'seedy Crack Den' and will have scabby wasted Scumbags cooking up with rusty spoons and Brittle disinterested addled single mothers grinding to 'the greatest Hits of the Alan Parsons Project'.
The Toilets will violate all health Codes known to man and Watered Down Perry will be sold as Champagne at £150 a pop.
And the Bouncers will be tooled up and ready to kill.
and I still expect half of London's Fuckwit Media to turn up.
Special Drunken Business Reps Lunchtime offers of a Stale Cheese Sandwich and a Blowjob from a Heroin addicted Prostitute; and Gang Rape Specials for Sales conventions because if you throw enough cash around then it's just a 'bit of high spirits' isn't it.
Scum , Sub human Scum.
Anyway Fuck 'em back to Dean Gaffney.
How in the name of Yoko Ono has this guy got Kiss and Tell stories published about him.
Who is sleeping with him , do they require assistance from a psychiatric specialist.
Hopefully one dealing mainly in low self esteem issues and self harm.
Who in their right mind would want to sleep with him in the first place and secondly why tell the world about it no matter how much money they offer you.
I would have thought the only possible route once you have had any kind of physical entanglement with Dean Gaffney was either Seppuku or drowning your conscious mind with a blizzard of Narcotics and Alcohol.
I believe it was Doctor Johnson who once said,
'He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of shagging Dean Gaffney'.
And Quite right to.
So he is 'personal Friends' with Jordan , fuck off crater face.
For years everyone was waiting for the heart wrenching storyline in which Willard contracted rabies and tore Robbie's throat out in the middle of the market.
Either that or a homage to Bonnie and Clyde with Robbie's Body being riddled in slow motion by thousands of bullets.
The Theme tune playing over the images as he jerks and writhes in his death throes.
never happened which I think can officially be described as 'a crying shame'.
Next time you are down the job Centre look closely at the Big nosed twat going through the 2.50 an hour shit shovelling Jobs, recognise him....now punch him.
you know he deserves it.
talentless wankstain.
Ram It.
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