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Nothing fancy here , no clever wordplay or dull pontificating that plagues so many other of these bits.
Flat Out hatred.
I hate Keith Allen
I always thought he was a bit shitty in the Comic Strip Presents but since then I have developed an intense overpowering Loathing for the wafer thin one trick pony.
Hanging around with Damien Hirst impresses me not one Jot as I think he is full of shit as well.
And his flirtation with Blur centered mainly around the Bass player Alex , another man crying out for a Sulphuric Acid Enema to wipe the smarmy look of his face.
spare my aching sides Keith it's Fat Les
Can't write , Can't Act , Can't write Music.
No better than z List clingers that appear in Now and Chat Magazine turning up to the opening of a stomach Lining to ponce free booze.
Except , because the Guardian like him and he was in Shallow Grave and Knows Irvine Welsh we are all supposed to think of him as staggering intellectual giant.
Appearing on the Late Review proves one thing only - Moron alert who is obsessed with the sound of their own voice.
(yes I am bitter , my invite from Germaine never did turn up , Wrinkled Aussie Windbag).
Oh He is such a benefactor for the British Arts ,
No , no he is not , he's a fucking scumbag with a couple of A-levels.
In Fact look at the entire cast of the Comic Strip Productions.
Oh How radical and cutting Edge they seem now as Bottom moves into it's latest round of Hitting people with Frying Pans.
Rik Mayall fell off his Quad bike in the grounds of his estate - watch out people the Landed Gentry are going to bring the country down with Fart Gags.
Ben Elton writes abominable musicals about Queen.
French and Saunders flog any old sit com to death.
I'm sorry but the young Ones is unwatchable these days.
Fucking Sell-outs the lot of them , just give them enough advert voice overs to cover their tax bill and that will do nicely.
Bullshit - It's like Stalin coming Back to Do Stars in their Eyes .
Actually that's a brilliant Idea
Tonight Joseph I Will be Leon Trotsky - Bang - quality Ice pick work , cut to the adverts.
Dictators Stars In their Eyes - Get In.
Tonight we have Adolf Hitler Doing Sparks - "Poland aint Big enough for the both of us"
Idi Amin - Will be Notorious BIG - "Big Poppa (Ready to Dine on my cabinet Minister)"
Benito Mussolini Will be Right Said Fred. - "I'm too sexy for my Black shirts"
God I rock -
no really, I do don't I
This stuff is pure Gold - I need to sell my soul to Carlton TV or Channel 5 , they would lap it up.
where was I?
Oh Yeah - Ram It Allen , I'm bored of you now.
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