Physiotherapy

[Fitzburger]

Because of a frozen shoulder I have been to a physio and have another appointment tomorrow with the lovely Hannah.

"Can you feel that?" She asks me as she runs her fingertips down my chest, sides and back. "Not yet" I say. Try it for another 15 minutes oh and I'd appreciate it if you massaged THIS.

Her boss is almost a clone of her, another cute wee blondie. 5ft 2 and dressed like PE teachers in tight blue trackies.

Hurrah for physiotherapists.

[DROC]

That's just the demo, once you pay for the year's subscription the hairy Russian dude turns up.

DROC

[Gypsy]

I would allways be worried about pulling a pant tent, or a towel tent in those situations. I would have to be thinking of Margret Thatcher to keep it down.

[DROC]

What are you worried about, she might like it and climb on?

DROC

[Fitzburger]

Sadly my condition is real and the pain is off the fucking scale and I can't really appreciate the situation for it's X rated potential.

[Barbara Conker]

the hairy Russian dude turns up.

DROC

Either that or the SPECTRE employed Irishman.

"enjoying your stay Mr Burger..."

[Fitzburger]

BOO! They transferred me to orthopaedics where its a borderline minger and everything is all proper scientific like.

[Barbara Conker]

You got owned!

[Fitzburger]

Well they might send me back to physio after they've caused me enormous pain.

[Hustler]

I would allways be worried about pulling a pant tent, or a towel tent in those situations. I would have to be thinking of Margret Thatcher to keep it down.

Christine Hamilton ............. Christine Hamilton ..................

[Cardie]

Sadly my condition is real and the pain is off the fucking scale and I can't really appreciate the situation for it's X rated potential.

Well, you started the thread with a description of a potentially sexually provacative scenario. You can't sand-bag the guys who respond to your angle by putting them on a guilt trip because of their responses, which were in tune with your first post.


You'd be surprised to know that I think of your illness every time I look at this board, and that I hope you're rallying and doing better and are not in pain. I'm sure that I'm not the only one. You're a very prominent member here.

I admire your courage in actually articulating what you're going through. I don't know if I'd be able to do it. I'd still write unpopular anecdotes about my uncles.




Well, if I must...


OK. Not really about the uncle, but he holds the deed to the big gravesite, which is Old Calvary, the graveyard seen in The Godfather when they're all sitting in the folding chairs and Tessio whispers in Michael's ear.

Our family plot is right near where they filmed that. Right there, like 75 feet away.

Last funeral, we're all there, sad, quiet, the hard bright sun, stiff wind, very solemn, - except for my animated toupeed dimwit uncle, who is the second cousin of the guy being buried - he says audibly to my lesbian golfer aunt during the graveyard service, "We gotta to make sure we get the deed back from the funeral director."

Many of us winced a little. But, most of us being practical and familiar with the ways of wily funeral directors who cling to grave deeds to ensure that they do the next family funeral, were not too upset at my uncle's outburst. Or so I thought.


The priest says finally "Amen."

Not two seconds after that, another cousin bellows, like he's doing stand-up comedy in a club, "I have decided to be the godfather of Connie's baby."

No one laughs, as the person who died was young, and it was tragic circumstances, and everyone was crying, and the cousin did the same thing at the last five funerals. Yet, after, the whole family is more mad at the guy who wanted to get back the grave deed from the oily funeral director.


And, I finally figured out why. The guy who mentioned the funeral director owns my great great-grandfather's Civil War rifle and they all think they should have it instead of him. Too many people watching Antiques Roadshow, thinking the gun is worth zillions.


My country. It always comes down to guns.

[Fitzburger]

While the physios were delightful they did spend some time manipulating my arm. Actions that came with what Fred Phelps calls exquisite pain. They now think I've I might have been been walking about with a broken arm since last year.

I can hardly make a cup of tea let alone do anything X rated. I could only enjoy the physiotherapy up to the point where the examination was about skin sensitivity, then it was "ARGH it feels like our pulling my arm off".

[DROC]

While the physios were delightful they did spend some time manipulating my arm. Actions that came with what Fred Phelps calls exquisite pain. They now think I've I might have been been walking about with a broken arm since last year.

I can hardly make a cup of tea let alone do anything X rated. I could only enjoy the physiotherapy up to the point where the examination was about skin sensitivity, then it was "ARGH it feels like our pulling my arm off".

Consult with the Baz, he's an expert on effortless sex.

DROC

[stainesgirl]

Jesus man, you don't need your flipping arms for sex!
Are silk scarves and handcuffs scarce in your neck of the woods?

[Fitzburger]

I've not seen them in the CO OP but the Ann Summers shop in town will probably have that kind of gear.