Pandorum

[rosso]

I'm buggered if I can ever understand what or how at most times of the day. But this massive fucking trial of stupidity wins the medal for time wasting shite,

Gold.

Outright.

The alarms were going off as I noted : 'from The Producers of Resident Evil.' on the DVD box .... it was on the telly a month back - I tuned in and was amazed at the low notch dullness - which hit the 'bored to fucking death' button on my imagination faster than usual.

So I only saw about half of it - before slumping into a ball of fumes and deep sleep.


Lets make a list:

This rubbish is NOT Sci Fi.

It fails as Sci Fi on every possible level.



Sci Fi is:

Now

Ten Minutes from your front door

Transferring your emotional death

Scanning for faults

Alone

You have failed

Staring

Inside a nightmare as the rational

Is STOMPED on

And you die


That is Sci Fi.

What it isn;t

IS:

A bunch of macho lesbo-poofs farting about in the dark - in a space ship or ye olde house up the lane, gurgling and boggling like it means something


Endlessly retarded shots in semi-black of ....things - Strobing in yellow

Flash backs

Especially ones that seem to hint at a more interesting story ... Namely, one of blasting the passengers of a gigantic space ship off into stellar space - in a fit of delirium.

So

No

Is the reviewers suggestion on buying a DVD of or ticket to see this film.

But ...

If you are a fan of Dennis Quaid - Then get it

He is outstanding

A serious player.

I should have written a review of the Machinist, with Christian Bale.

Now - That was weird - and brilliant.

Watch that

[summer of george]

Not seen the machinist yet, but i think Bale is one of the finest actors about and know I really should have caught it by now.

This week I shall..that is my vow.

[TheDave]

the Machinist is a superb film. Utterly superb. It's in the same vein as Momento ... Also a glorious film.

I watched Law Abiding Citizen the other day and it's genuinely as good. I recommend it.

[summer of george]

Memento is a masterpiece

Mr Jenkis gives me my shots.

[Gypsy]

Pandorum, was OK.
However the machinist with Bale was fucking excellent. How he could have put his body through that much weight loss, beggars beleif. I allways thought he was a bit of a prick before seeing this.

[rosso]

Gypsy, you may be the last word on Volcanic doom from the sky and the final wisdom on all things hellish from beneath our feet, but a film critic you are not.

Despite those hours put in feverishly downloading Norwegian soft cock porn.

Honestly goodly people, Pandorum is going to suck away 90 minutes of your life that would be better spent hitting yourself in the face with a wet boot with.

But the lad is correct on The Mechanic.

George - this a Tour de force - bravado performance. I thought the man Bale had been cut and pasted into some high-end CGI composite. But no. He starved himself to achieve his appearance.

Utterly incredible. The only slight off beam moment was when the master of grinning fiendish mania, Michael Ironside turned up. And... well - he seems to have had his share of amputee parts.

What I have seen recently that wasn't on mainline radar that is worth BT'ing or scrounging up, was a film called Primer. http://www.primermovie.com/

Extremely weird, extremely good. Especially for a late night - Dawn sitting, with assorted pick me ups and like minded cronies.


Also... Something I'm in three or four minds over. - - Knowing. http://knowing-themovie.com/

Nicholas Cage. And, I know, I know - the warning alarms are honking, but this is oki-doki

Worth a loan from the local library.

[TheDave]

The end of Knowing made me angry and made the previous 2 hours pointless.
He could have just wanked into a sock for the entire film, sat in a battered leather sofa and the ending would have been the same.

[summer of george]

just wanked into a sock for the entire film, sat in a battered leather sofa and the ending would have been the same.

Throw in some melancholy and gout and that's my Friday.

[bazman]

sounds blissful!